Friend group split on whether or not their 28-year-old bestie is being a diva for banning kids from her baby shower, one friend calls her out: 'My bf was not happy'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Mar 18, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

A group of friends plans a loving baby shower, but their mom-to-be bestie bans kids from the party and causes tension in the group.

When it comes to having different opinions, it may be difficult to share them peacefully and agree on something without taking sides. It's even more difficult if we talk about a group of three members; picking sides is almost inevitable. The group dynamics in a party of three are complicated; one will always get along better with another, and it's easier for the third person to take it personally and feel kinda left out.

Now, imagine this situation, but add an expectant mother and babies to the discussion. Personal interests and opinions often change whenever a baby is involved, especially when it's your own. Of course, everyone wants the best for their child. But have you ever noticed how some new moms change their whole personality? 

Set the scene at a baby shower, and get ready for today's drama. 
 

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  • Three women celebrating a baby shower, one of them looks surprised, one feels left out and the other seems happy to be receiving gifts.
    via Unsplash + (Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    Three women celebrating a baby shower, one of them looks surprised, one feels left out and the other seems happy to be receiving gifts.

  • A 28-year-old bestie ruins her friends' expectations when she bans partners and kids from the party. One of them is a new mother with a 9-month-old baby, so she can't simply set her kid aside and go have fun because she's still naturally feeding him. Bestie's excuse is that people with kids need to learn it's not all about them, and that she wants to celebrate only for herself, not for anyone else. Of course, her friends didn't agree with this, but ended up attending the party anyway. 

  • My (28F) bestfriend (28F) is having her baby shower in a few weeks time. She just sent out invitations 2 weeks ago that read along the lines of 'come celebrate with 'Joel' and I as we welcome our new bundle of joy to the world'.
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  • Joel is her partner. There is about 15 people invited on the Facebook event. Joel does not have Facebook so he wasn't on there.
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  • Out of the 15 guests 3 of us have kids. One is 3, the other 2 and the other 9 months old and purely breastfed.
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  • The baby shower has been stated to be extremely casual at her parents house in their large backyard.
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  • Friends celebrating an intimate baby shower in a cozy, sunlit backyard.
    via Unsplash + (Jorge Fernández Salas)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    Friends celebrating an intimate baby shower in a cozy, sunlit backyard.

  • Picture your best friend's baby shower. It's filled with decorations, friends, and family, all gathering to celebrate the arrival of a new family member. Everyone's playing games, sharing stories, and feeling the sweet aroma of freshly baked cupcakes. You all bring thoughtful gifts, and love is in the air. But this story didn't go as harmoniously as expected.

  • Just a few nibbles and to sit around and chat for a few hours. One of the other girls messaged my bestfriend and just asked if partners and kids are invited to which my bestfriend replied no.
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  • The other girl has not replied which led my bestfriend to say to me that 'people with kids need to learn that it's not all about them, it's my baby shower and I want people to celebrate me.
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  • Nobody else' then went on to say 'I'm only having the baby shower for the gifts'.
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  • No doubt becoming a mother is a huge, life-changing event that brings a strong sense of belonging and love, but some new moms take that so far that it can ruin friendships. How selfish can someone be not to care about their friends' kids? Especially if you are about to be a mom, I guess you should be able to empathise with other mothers (who, at the same time, are actually your friends)

  • I pulled her up and said that it's a bit ride to want people to come celebrate you and your baby and shower you in gifts and make comments about others kids.
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  • She did not like that. I have the 9 month old and this caught me by surprise as when we talked about her shower months ago she made a passing comment that my child would be there so I just assumed she was invited.
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  • I told my bestfriend that I would only be able to pop in for a bit as my baby won't take a bottle and is exclusively breastfed and the fact that its right in the middle of her nap (was planning to put her down at the shower in the house) my bestfriend was not happy.
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  • I get that you might not want kids at your shower and that's TOTALLY OK! But i don't know, I just feel like it's 3 babies/kids and it's a super casual event - does it matter that much haha.
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  • Can definitely see that I could be the AH but is it a bit stiff to say that other kids don't matter?
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  • Especially when you're about to be a new mum?
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  • Some friends think moms can just leave their kids whenever they want, but once they become moms themselves, they expect everyone's lives to revolve around their child. I believe we should value the friends who stand by us and never let them feel like they are not important to us. 

  • A few things - sorry I spelt 'best friend' as one word. I've always said it like that but didn't know it would upset so many people and for people to say it's Al because of that lol - Secondly when I say my baby is exclusively breastfed- I mean that she primarily just drinks milk.
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  • She will try food but mainly spits it out. Yes we have been to the dr and yes they say it's fine and to keep feeding her milk as that is their MAIN nutrition source up until the age of 12 months.
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  • Food is just for exploration until then. Thirdly- I have left my baby for an hour maybe 2 hours tops and she stays with my husband however my husband works every second weekend and this falls on his working weekend.
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  • I don't have family support and am not paying a stranger to look after my baby.
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  • Her nap falls right when the baby shower starts and she is fed to sleep for naps.
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  • I have in the past bought my daughter to my friends parents house and put her down for a nap there and I guess stupidly just assumed that's what I would do for the shower without double checking.
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  • We try solids EVERY SINGLE DAY multiple times a day, she just isn't all that interested.
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Tags

friendship family drama baby besties best friends family baby shower
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